Resilience, Rap Music, and Happiness: Why These Things Are All Connected
I’ll be honest: the moment the kids hop out of the car and the door closes behind them, something flips. I go from “Mom Mode” to a completely different frequency—one that starts with a deep breath and ends in me full-on rapping every lyric to DMX, Dr. Dre, Tupac, or Eminem like I’m on stage at Madison Square Garden. And I know there are a generation of Moms that know EXACTLY what that feels like based on the number of reels and TicTok’s I see.
No apologies. No edits, except the N word — I will never repeat that, even if no one would hear.
And here’s the thing: it’s not just a guilty pleasure or a midlife mom quirk. It’s the music I grew up on and it’s a practice in reminding me of the resilience we have as a human race. And surprisingly, science-backed form of emotional positivity.
Music as Medicine
Let’s start with the science. Research has shown that listening to music you love—especially music that brings emotional intensity—activates the brain’s reward system. Dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, is released. This is the same chemical that floods your brain when you eat chocolate, fall in love, or accomplish a big goal.
In other words, that rush you feel when Tupac says, “You gotta keep your head up” isn’t just nostalgia—it’s neuroscience.
Music is one of the fastest ways to shift your emotional state. It bypasses overthinking and goes straight to the soul. And when life feels like a lot, because let’s be honest, sometimes motherhood, business, and being a human is a lot. We can use that quick emotional reset a powerful tool, whether you are preparing for an important meeting or psyching yourself up to socialize with the parents on your kid’s sports team.
Rap as Resilience
So why rap? Why not some relaxing acoustic folk or a calming meditation playlist?
Because sometimes life demands a little grit, at least for me. (But don’t get me wrong, a little Phil Collins or Lionel Ritchie have a place on my playlist too)
Rap is storytelling. It’s fire. It’s pain turned into a lyrical story. It’s power reclaimed through rhythm and rhyme. Artists like Eminem, DMX, Tupac and current day, Kendrick Lamar aren’t just making music—they are laying bare their trauma, telling meaningful stories, turning survival into art. And for those of us who’ve been through our own storms, it resonates. I might not know what a black man is going through, but I sure can relate to the emotions and events they are rapping about, whether its Tupac’s “Changes” or Kendrick’s “They Not Like Us” about deep inequalities, we feel it and know it as Truth. And in that Truth is authenticity and power.
You don’t have to grow up in the exact circumstances they did to feel the truth in their words.
When Tupac says, “I’m not saying I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will,” it hits something deep.
When Eminem spits, “You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it,” that’s not just a lyric, it is revolutionary.
Happiness Isn’t Always Soft
As a life coach, I talk a lot about alignment, resilience, authenticity, and joy. But let’s get one thing straight: happiness isn’t always soft, quiet, and gentle.
Sometimes, happiness is gritty. It’s loud. It’s messy.
Sometimes, it’s blasting DMX while you’re leaving the school pickup line.
It’s using a song to shake off your stress and remind yourself, “I’ve got this.”
Because true resilience isn’t just about surviving. It’s about creating the tools and rituals—however unconventional—that help you thrive.
A Final Note (Or Bar)
So, if you’re a mom in your 40s, blasting rap like your SUV is a nightclub—good. Keep going. That moment is your reclaiming. That beat is your reset. That song is your soul saying, “We’re still here. We’re still rising.”
Joy looks different for everyone. For some, it’s a peaceful walk in nature. For others, it’s yelling “X Gon’ Give It to Ya” at a red light and meaning it with your whole chest.
Either way, if it helps you show up more fully, more freely, and more you—then that is happiness. That is resilience. And that is beautiful.
- Crystal Gargiulo
Coach, Mom, Hard-Core Rap Fan