How Much Time Do You Take for Yourself?

I’m sitting here on an overcast Sunday with nothing scheduled on my calendar. Intentionally. Today is my day off.

And yet… it doesn’t feel good.

It should, right? A day with no deadlines, no obligations, no practices or appointments. Just space. But instead of feeling relaxed, I feel agitated. Unsettled. Like there’s something I’m forgetting—or worse, avoiding.

This morning, my husband asked me what I wanted to do with the day. He started tossing out sweet and simple suggestions—“Want to go for a walk on the beach?” “What about brunch and then maybe the park?” But all I could think was: What projects need to get done around the house? The closets. The laundry. The pile of papers I’ve been ignoring. I wasn’t thinking about pleasure or presence. I was thinking about productivity.

And that made me stop and ask:

Why is rest so hard for me?

I know I’m not alone. As moms, we spend our days managing every detail of everyone else’s life. We move mountains for our families, we keep all the balls in the air, and somehow still feel like we’re dropping the ones that “really matter.” And when a moment finally opens up—one carved out just for us—we fill it with guilt, or a mental checklist, or some background pressure to be useful.

But here’s the deeper truth:

I’ve attached my value to my output.

To the boxes I check, the meals I prep, the errands I run, the people I keep happy.

And in the stillness of an unscheduled Sunday, I bump up against the discomfort of not performing. Not proving. Just being.

It’s in these moments that the real work begins. As a transitional life coach, I talk to clients all the time about reclaiming their time and reconnecting with who they are beneath the roles they play. And I remind them:

Rest is not a reward for burnout. It’s a right.

You don’t have to earn your rest by doing more.

You don’t have to justify it with productivity afterward.

You can just take it—because you are human, and you matter.

So today, I’m letting this discomfort teach me something. I’m choosing to sit with it instead of silencing it with another load of laundry. I’m letting rest feel awkward if it needs to. Because that’s where the shift starts—when we choose presence over pressure.

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, here’s a gentle invitation:

How much time do you truly take for yourself?

Not a quick coffee in the car between errands. Not five minutes scrolling before bed.

But real time. Time to not do. Time to listen inward. Time to breathe.

I’m still learning how to take that time without guilt. But I’m committed to practicing it—because I want my kids to see what it looks like when a woman values her own well-being, not just what she can get done.

So today, even if it feels uncomfortable, I’m choosing rest.

Not as an escape, but as a declaration:

I matter, even when I’m still.

And so do you.

With you on the journey,
Crystal Gargiulo
Mom. Wife. Coach. Realtor. Human.