I’m Still Learning Too
The Honest Truth: I’m Still Learning Too
As a life coach, you might expect me to have all the answers — to always stay calm, grounded, and two steps ahead of the chaos. But the truth? I’m still learning and growing right alongside you.
In this world where we’re supposed to be so evolved, do you ever feel like your ego is tugging you down harder than ever? I know I do. And based on countless conversations I have with clients, friends, and other coaches, it’s clear: this feeling is everywhere right now. Even those of us who make a living helping others aren’t immune.
Our egos are getting triggered left and right — from what we see on social media to the shows we binge-watch, to simple daily tasks like driving down the street. Speaking of driving... South Florida, where I live, has officially become the Honking Capital of the World.
I’m serious. The light turns green, and not even a full second later, somebody (or five somebodies) is laying on their horn.
The other morning, I was taking my kids to school. We were already running behind — you know, one of those mornings where getting shoes on feels like climbing Everest. If you’re a parent, you’re nodding right now because you know the “Where are my shoes?!” spiral that can wreck an otherwise decent day.
So there I am, frazzled, coffee forgotten on the counter, kids half-fed, teeth mostly brushed — and the light turns green. Before I even move my foot to the gas, HONK HONK HONK.
Instantly, I felt it: the surge of frustration, the pounding heart, the “what the heck?!” reaction. My nervous system didn’t ask for permission. It went straight into fight-or-flight mode.
And here's the kicker — it wasn’t just about that honk. It was the accumulation of stress from the morning, the pressure to be on time, the underlying feeling of never doing enough. Sound familiar?
We are carrying this low-level, constant stress into our workplaces, our homes, our communities — and it’s contagious.
But here’s the question I keep coming back to:
How do we take that same raw energy — the pulse of frustration, the jolt of anger — and turn it into something positive?
For me, it starts with awareness. Catching myself in the moment. Recognizing, “Oh, this isn’t just about the car behind me. This is about feeling overwhelmed and out of control.”
It’s about pausing — even for a breath — and deciding:
👉 I don’t have to let this energy control me.
👉 I can choose to shift it.
👉 I can move from reaction to intention.
That morning, after I pulled away (maybe a tiny bit slower than necessary — I’m human, after all), I made a conscious decision. I turned up some silly music for the kids. We sang the wrong lyrics all the way to school. I let myself laugh instead of simmer.
That tiny choice didn’t erase the hard morning, but it changed the trajectory of my day. And maybe — just maybe — it rippled out to change someone else’s too.
If you’re feeling that tug of the ego, that tension just under the surface, know this:
You are not alone.
You are not broken.
And you have more power than you realize.
We don’t always get to control what happens around us. But we always get to decide how we respond.
I’m still practicing it every single day. And that, my friends, is the real work.
With you on the journey,
Crystal Gargiulo
Mom. Coach. Teammate. Human.